I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
