My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
