Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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