I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
