Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize