i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The feeling are messing with the penis
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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