apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
