Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
