Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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