i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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