I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
