so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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