the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
