When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
