apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
