I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
