you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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