Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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