I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
