whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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