im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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