So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
