Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize