I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
