All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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