I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
then he tried to convert me to islam
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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