he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
