It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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