If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
