I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
