this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
