i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Sober January is a disaster.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
