Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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