I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
