i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
