Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
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Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
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I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.