please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
