WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
