she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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