i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
