I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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