Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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