sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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