At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
