I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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