Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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