should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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