i permit you to call me
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
