Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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