Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
