5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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