After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
