so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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