Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
