My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
