i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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