Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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