he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
wow bdsm is so cute
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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