the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize