He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
