So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
