I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
