What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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