The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
