giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize