Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
