Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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