I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
