break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
